Optimist: the glass is 1/2 full
Pessimist: the glass is 1/2 empty
Excel: 2-Jan
Categories
Tag: short
Categories
A Gorilla Walks Into A Bar…
A gorilla walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender slides him a beer and says “That will be $11. We don’t get many gorillas coming in here.”
The gorilla says “With the prices you charge, I’m not surprised!”
Your mom is so short, when she went to the zoo, it was animal crackers!
I don’t want anymore kids, so I went to get a vasectomy. It didn’t work because the kids were still there when I got home.
My kids refused to eat the leftover tacos, so my wife asked me to throw them out.
I did. Now I have no idea what to do with the tacos.
Categories
Separation
My wife left me a note on the fridge that said “It’s not working. I’m leaving to stay at my parents house”
I called her and said “Please come home… The fridge works fine!”
What does D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexia Association
What’s the difference between a child and a bag of coke?
Eric Clapton won’t let a bag of coke fall out a window.
I went to McDonald’s today and ordered 2 large french fries. They messed up and gave me like 75 regular sized french fries.
Categories
Sex Position
The best sex position is called wow.
It’s when I flip your mom over!