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Jokes

Veggies

What did John Lennon and Yoko Ono say to their son Sean Lennon when he would not eat his vegetables?

All we are saying, is give peas a chance.

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Jokes

Kid Song

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys, and phone”

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Jokes

Queue

What do you call the first person standing in a line?

“Next!”

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Jokes

Dinosaur

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

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Jokes

Vampire

What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 5 miles from the blood bank?

A cab.

Saw this one on SpongeBob lol.

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Jokes

Cats

What language do cats speak?

Purrrrr-sian

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Jokes

Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar

A grasshopper walks into a bar and takes a seat.  The grasshopper says “man I’m really depressed”.

The bartender says “I have a drink named after you that should cheer you up!”

The grasshopper says “You have a drink named Fred!?!”

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Jokes

Full Moon

What do you call a house during a full moon?

A were-house

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Jokes

Chicken

What do you call a chicken that is staring in lettuce?

Chicken ceas-a-salad!

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Jokes

Knock Knock

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Yoda lady.

Yoda lady who?

Stop yodeling.