What’s blue and not heavy at all?
Light blue.
Category: Jokes
What is something your wife can say that will make you happy and angry at the same time?
Your brother’s dick is smaller than yours.
Categories
Shipwrecked
A man is traveling on the sea when a storm blows and wrecks his ship. The man wakes up on the shore of a deserted island with only his loyal pet dog and a wild island pig.
After a month of not having a woman, the man starts to eye the pig. When he starts to caress the pig, the dog gets aggressive and starts to bite the man so he has to stop. A couple weeks later while the dog is sleeping he starts to try the pig again, but the dog wakes up and attacks him again.
A few weeks later, a beautiful blond woman washes ashore. The man is ecstatic and runs to the woman! He says “I need you to come here and hold this dog still!”
Categories
Mind Control
I invented a thought controlled air freshener.
How does it work you say?
It makes a lot of scents if you think about it.
I’m trying to respect other cultures more. To do it, I’ve been saying mucho to my Mexican friends lately.
It really means a lot to them.
Where do you take someone who gets injured playing peekaboo?
To the ICU!
Categories
Prostitute
A man comes home and the wife exclaims “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WENT TO A PROSTITUTE!”
The husband tries to explain himself “honey, we haven’t had sex in months I have urges.”
The wife says “I’m not mad about that, I didn’t know you were willing to pay!”
Categories
Fridge and Butt
What’s the difference between a fridge and a woman’s butt?
The fridge doesn’t fart when you take the meat out.
Categories
Coming of Age
My son is becoming curious about the female body.
I guess its time to hide it somewhere else.
I like to sing in my car, but only in reverse gear.
Iust be a backup singer.