gummibearheadsA grasshopper walks into a bar and takes a seat. The grasshopper says “man I’m really depressed”.
The bartender says “I have a drink named after you that should cheer you up!”
The grasshopper says “You have a drink named Fred!?!”
What do you call a house during a full moon?
A were-house
What do you call a chicken that is staring in lettuce?
Chicken ceas-a-salad!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Yoda lady.
Yoda lady who?
Stop yodeling.
At the pool today I peed in the deep end. The lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle soooo loud that it startled me and I almost fell into the pool!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles (tentacles)
What do you call a female deer in a pickle patch?
Dilldoe
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work?
IHOP
If a Lama with one L is a holy man in Tibet, and a Llama with two L’s is a camel type animal… What’s a three L Lama?
A big fire in Boston.
Where does a horse go when it’s sick?
The horse-pital