A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.

A man walks up to her.  She sees the man coming and says, “Go away! There’s nothing you can say to change my mind!”

He says, “Well, if you’re going to kill yourself anyway, why don’t we have sex? At least I’ll enjoy it.”

“Absolutely not! You’re disgusting!”, she replies.

The man turns and starts walking away.

“Is that all you’re going to say? You’re not going to try to convince me that life is worth living? Where are you going?”

“I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you’ll still be warm!”, he says.

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom. On the floor was a note saying, “I can’t stand the critism anymore.”
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.  As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, “That’s not how you spell criticism.”