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Jokes

Shipwrecked

A man is traveling on the sea when a storm blows and wrecks his ship.  The man wakes up on the shore of a deserted island with only his loyal pet dog and a wild island pig.

After a month of not having a woman, the man starts to eye the pig.  When he starts to caress the pig, the dog gets aggressive and starts to bite the man so he has to stop.  A couple weeks later while the dog is sleeping he starts to try the pig again, but the dog wakes up and attacks him again.

A few weeks later, a beautiful blond woman washes ashore.  The man is ecstatic and runs to the woman!  He says “I need you to come here and hold this dog still!”

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stuff

Baby

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Jokes

Mind Control

I invented a thought controlled air freshener.

How does it work you say?

It makes a lot of scents if you think about it.

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stuff

Simpsons Theme Song

This is amazing!

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Jokes

Mucho

I’m trying to respect other cultures more.  To do it, I’ve been saying mucho to my Mexican friends lately.

It really means a lot to them.

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stuff

Modern Cruise Ships

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Jokes

Peakaboo

Where do you take someone who gets injured playing peekaboo?

To the ICU!

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stuff

Wigs

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Jokes

Prostitute

A man comes home and the wife exclaims “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WENT TO A PROSTITUTE!”

The husband tries to explain himself “honey, we haven’t had sex in months I have urges.”

The wife says “I’m not mad about that, I didn’t know you were willing to pay!”

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stuff

Misfits