What’s the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?
You don’t peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it!
Category: Jokes
What’s the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don’t cry when I’m cutting up the hooker.
My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.
Categories
Guiness Book
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
I got my kid a puppy for a present, but it died before Christmas.
No I am stuck taking care of a puppy 🙁
Categories
Pay Attention
My wife yelled at me today saying, “You weren’t even listening just now, were you?!”
What a weird way to start a conversation!
Categories
Captain Obvious
What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
Categories
Fish Headache
What did the fish say after he swam into a concrete wall?
Dam!
Categories
Sausage-phobia
What do people with sausage phobia have in common with pessimists?
The both fear the wurst.
Categories
Talking Tampons
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing, they are both stuck up bitches.