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Jokes

Skinny Dipping

A priest and a rabbi are some nny dipping. All of the sudden, two busses pull up. Out of one pours the rabbi‘s congregation and out of the other pours the priest’s congregation.

Their clothes are on the other side of the lake, so they don’t have time to retrieve them. Both decide to just make a run for it.

The priest, running with his hands covering his genitals looks over and sees the rabbi running with his hands over his face. He says, “Rabbi! What are you doing?”

The rabbi says, “In my community, they recognize me by my face.”

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Jokes

Farmer Interview

A reportedlr is interviewing a dairy Farmer about his

Interviewer: How much water do they drink a day?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black one.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer: Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?

Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: It’s also mine.

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Jokes

Chameleon

What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

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Jokes

Funny Smell

Don’t you hate it when you’re driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough, grandma is fingering herself again.

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Jokes

Starter Pistol

I just heard some people at the track got shot with a starter pistol!

Police say it’s race related.

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Jokes

Girlfriend

My girlfriend said having a four inch penis is OK.

I still wish she didn’t have one.

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Jokes

Spaghetti

What do you call spaghetti that hangs out on a street corner?

Pasta-tute.

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Jokes

Speeding

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding. The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: “Let me see your driver’s license.”
Driver: “What’s that?”
Cop: “A square thing with your picture on it.”
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says, “I’m gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn’t know you were a cop.”

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Jokes

Car Wash

A man is washing his car with his son.

The son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

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Jokes

Light bulb

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?

One with a step-ladder. They’re short, not stupid.