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Jokes

Chili

A guy sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili. ​The waitress says, “Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl”.

He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, “Are you going to eat that chili?”

The other guy says, “No. Help yourself”.

He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl.

The other guy says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got, too”.

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Jokes

Bears

​What do you call bears with no ears?

B

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Jokes

Duck

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Jokes

Wendy’s Beaver

Wendy’s beaver is so real and fresh!

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Jokes

A Racist Sign

crackers

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Jokes

Are Those Hot Dogs

Not everything you see on facebook is real. Think before you share.

hotdogs
found on reddit.

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Jokes

Pizza

​What’s the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?

You don’t peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it!

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Jokes

Onions

​What’s the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don’t cry when I’m cutting up the hooker.

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Jokes

Job

​My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do.  Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.

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Jokes

Guiness Book

​My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records

Then the librarian told me to take it out.