“Excuse me,” I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, “You have some semen on the back of your jacket.”
“I’m sure it’s not semen,” she said, “It’s probably yogurt.”
“It’s definitely semen,” I said, “I don’t ejaculate yogurt.”
Category: Jokes
What rhymes with orange?
No it doesn’t.
Categories
Scuba Divers
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.
Categories
Bear and Rabbit
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. At one point, the bear turns to the rabbit and says,
“Do you ever have problems with shit getting stuck in your fur?”
The rabbit looks at him, uncomfortably and says,
“…..no?”
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Why did the old lady fall in the well.
Because she didn’t see that well.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
How do you make a net?
Sew a bunch of holes together.
Categories
Step Ladder
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
I bought the worlds worst thesaurus last week. Not only is it terrible, but it is terrible.