If you want to give a friend a gift he is sure to love, give him a refrigerator and watch his face light up when he opens it.
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Tag: short
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic.
What is the least spoken language in history?
Sign language.
Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
He only comes down the chimney!
Why did the snowman drop his pants?
He heard a snowblower coming!
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Little Blue Pill
My wife asked me to bring home some of those pills to help give me an erection. I brought her some diet pills.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
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Hippo and Zippo
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.
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Favorite Things
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
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Drug Store
Guy goes to the drugstore to buy a pack of rubbers. After paying for them, the cashier asks if he wants a bag.
The man says “Jeez that’s rude! These not that ugly!”