How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
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Tag: short
Categories
Gene manipulation
What do you get when you mix Goat DNA and Human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Mike Tyson was thinking the other day.
He yelled out, “Thomeone help me! I can’t thwim.”
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Donate Blood
Man: “When I donate blood I do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me.”
Receptionist: “Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn’t work that way.”
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Grief Counselor
My grief counselor died today.
Thankfully, he was so good that I don’t give a shit.
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Girlfriend
How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting too fat?
She fits in your wife’s clothes.
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Bad timing
What to you call it when you get a boner at a funeral?
Mourning wood.
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Dear Satan
Dear Satan, for Christmas I would like you to cure my dislexia.
Doctor: Well, it looks like you are pregnant.
Woman: Oh my God, I’m pregnant?!
Doctor: No, it just looks like you are.
I passed a kid on the street. He was sitting on the curb and dressed in rags.
II asked him, “Are you an orphan?
He replied, “Yes. What gave me away?
I said, “Your parents.”