Guy goes to the drugstore to buy a pack of rubbers. After paying for them, the cashier asks if he wants a bag.
The man says “Jeez that’s rude! These not that ugly!”
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Tag: short
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Dating the mailman
“Mom, I’m dating someone new.”
“Whom, sweetheart?”
“Mike the mailman.”
“Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!”
“But mom, age is just a number.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand….”
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Pedestrian
I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”
Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.
What is the difference between an Indian and African elephant?
One of them is an Indian.
My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding.
She got so mad and said she’s never gonna play scrabble with me ever again.
What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?
Denis.
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Baby Birds
If a bluebird has blue babies and a blackbird has black babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A swallow!
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Unthinkable
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
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Gene manipulation
What do you get when you mix Goat DNA and Human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Mike Tyson was thinking the other day.
He yelled out, “Thomeone help me! I can’t thwim.”