What to you call it when you get a boner at a funeral?
Mourning wood.
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Tag: short
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Dear Satan
Dear Satan, for Christmas I would like you to cure my dislexia.
Doctor: Well, it looks like you are pregnant.
Woman: Oh my God, I’m pregnant?!
Doctor: No, it just looks like you are.
I passed a kid on the street. He was sitting on the curb and dressed in rags.
II asked him, “Are you an orphan?
He replied, “Yes. What gave me away?
I said, “Your parents.”
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Flat Earth
The only thing flat earthers have to fear…is sphere itself!
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Wife in Labor
A guy calls the hospital. He says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!”
The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?”
He says, “No! This is her husband!”
A dad is washing the car with his son.
After a moment, the son asks his father, “Do you think we could use a sponge instead?”
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Dinosaur Joke
Can a joke about dinosaurs make you laugh?
You bet jurassic can!
What’s it called when a chameleon can’t change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.
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Starter Pistol
I just heard some people at the track got shot with a starter pistol!
Police say it’s race related.