My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.
Tag: short
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Guiness Book
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
I got my kid a puppy for a present, but it died before Christmas.
No I am stuck taking care of a puppy 🙁
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That’s a nice ham you have there. It would be a shame if somebody put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end.
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Pay Attention
My wife yelled at me today saying, “You weren’t even listening just now, were you?!”
What a weird way to start a conversation!
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Fish Headache
What did the fish say after he swam into a concrete wall?
Dam!
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Sausage-phobia
What do people with sausage phobia have in common with pessimists?
The both fear the wurst.
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Talking Tampons
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing, they are both stuck up bitches.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!