“Excuse me,” I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, “You have some semen on the back of your jacket.”
“I’m sure it’s not semen,” she said, “It’s probably yogurt.”
“It’s definitely semen,” I said, “I don’t ejaculate yogurt.”
Tag: dirty
Categories
Blind Prostitute
I picked up this partially blind prostitute a few nights ago. She told me I was the biggest she’s had. I told her you’re pulling my leg.
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes “What’s that for?”
His wife replies “For the flowers of course”
He thinks for a moment and asks “Don’t we have a vase?”
What’s the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?
You don’t peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it!
Categories
Guiness Book
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records
Then the librarian told me to take it out.