“Mom, I’m dating someone new.”
“Whom, sweetheart?”
“Mike the mailman.”
“Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!”
“But mom, age is just a number.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand….”
Categories
Tag: dirty
Categories
Gene manipulation
What do you get when you mix Goat DNA and Human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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Funny Smell
Don’t you hate it when you’re driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough, grandma is fingering herself again.
Categories
Girlfriend
My girlfriend said having a four inch penis is OK.
I still wish she didn’t have one.
“Excuse me,” I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, “You have some semen on the back of your jacket.”
“I’m sure it’s not semen,” she said, “It’s probably yogurt.”
“It’s definitely semen,” I said, “I don’t ejaculate yogurt.”
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Blind Prostitute
I picked up this partially blind prostitute a few nights ago. She told me I was the biggest she’s had. I told her you’re pulling my leg.
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes “What’s that for?”
His wife replies “For the flowers of course”
He thinks for a moment and asks “Don’t we have a vase?”
What’s the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?
You don’t peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it!
Categories
Guiness Book
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records
Then the librarian told me to take it out.