Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as the most violent book she ever read!
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A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer asks the lawyer “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
“I haven’t the foggiest idea,” said the lawyer.
The officer replied, “You didn’t make a full stop at the stop sign back there. You only slowed down.”
The lawyer thinks for a few seconds then says, “If you can prove to me the difference between stopping and slowing down, I’ll take full responsibility. Otherwise, you let me off with a warning. Sound fair?”
The officer ponders it shortly before nodding his head. “Sounds fair. Can you step out of the car please?”
Just as the lawyer steps out and shuts the car door, the officer pulls out his baton and starts beating the lawyer. After a few swings, the officer says, “Now, would you like me to stop or slow down?”
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Secret Service
Did you hear the secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked ?
They have to tell “Donald Duck!”
I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom. On the floor was a note saying, “I can’t stand the critism anymore.”
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe. As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, “That’s not how you spell criticism.”
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Awesome dude!
This guy is pretty cool. He probably had no idea what the guy was saying, or he is trolling everyone.
https://youtu.be/ML9ssR9EZmk
I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it’s because she’s cute with big brown eyes. But it’s really because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.
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Dinosaur Jr – Pieces
Such a great song!
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Crispy Wings from the Oven
Wings from. Serious Eats are very good. Recipe is in the video.
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Alter Bridge – Addicted to Pain
Kick ass song!
This saved me some time today.
If you have got the error message from microsoft outlook telling you that “The windows search engine is currently disable. Outlook will not able to provide the instant seach functionality unl…
Source: Outlook 2013: The windows search Engine is currently disable | chin2it
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