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Jokes

Crash position

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

It’s how I roll 😎

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Jokes

The gift that keeps on giving

If you want to give a friend a gift he is sure to love, give him a refrigerator and watch his face light up when he opens it.

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Jokes

Religion

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

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Jokes

Language

What is the least spoken language in history?

Sign language.

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Jokes

Santa

Why doesn’t Santa have any children?

He only comes down the chimney!

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Jokes

Snowman

Why did the snowman drop his pants?

He heard a snowblower coming!

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Jokes

Little Blue Pill

My wife asked me to bring home some of those pills to help give me an erection. I brought her some diet pills.

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Jokes

Discount

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

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Jokes

Hippo and Zippo

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.

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Jokes

Favorite Things

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.