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Jokes

Speeding

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding. The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: “Let me see your driver’s license.”
Driver: “What’s that?”
Cop: “A square thing with your picture on it.”
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says, “I’m gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn’t know you were a cop.”

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Jokes

Car Wash

A man is washing his car with his son.

The son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

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Jokes

Rhyme

What rhymes with orange?

No it doesn’t.

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Jokes

Scuba Divers

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.

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Jokes

Old Lady

Why did the old lady fall in the well.

Because she didn’t see that well.

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Jokes

Lipstick

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

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Jokes

Parrot

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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Jokes

Net

How do you make a net?

Sew a bunch of holes together.

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Jokes

Step Ladder

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

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Jokes

Thesaurus

I bought the worlds worst thesaurus last week. Not only is it terrible, but it is terrible.