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Jokes

Lipstick

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

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Jokes

Parrot

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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Jokes

Net

How do you make a net?

Sew a bunch of holes together.

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Jokes

Step Ladder

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

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Jokes

Thesaurus

I bought the worlds worst thesaurus last week. Not only is it terrible, but it is terrible.

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Jokes

Colorblind

I just found out I’m colorblind!  The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

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Jokes

Rorschach Test

How come when i google image search “rorschach test”, i just see 40 images of my parents fighting?

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Jokes

Listening

My wife yelled at me today saying, “You weren’t even listening just now, were you?!”

I thought, “Man, what a weird way to start a conversation.”

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Jokes

Twin Bed

As a kid,i used to lay in my twin bed wondering where my brother was.

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Jokes

Secret Service

Did you hear the secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked ?

They have to tell “Donald Duck!”