My girlfriend said having a four inch penis is OK.
I still wish she didn’t have one.
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What do you call spaghetti that hangs out on a street corner?
Pasta-tute.
A blonde gets pulled over for speeding. The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: “Let me see your driver’s license.”
Driver: “What’s that?”
Cop: “A square thing with your picture on it.”
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says, “I’m gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn’t know you were a cop.”
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Melted Onions
Good lord, I need this inside me.
A man is washing his car with his son.
The son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
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Light bulb
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
One with a step-ladder. They’re short, not stupid.
A midget asks the librarian,”Do you have any books on midget discrimination?”
The librarian replies,”Top shelf”.
What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer?
A midget spinner.
“Excuse me,” I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, “You have some semen on the back of your jacket.”
“I’m sure it’s not semen,” she said, “It’s probably yogurt.”
“It’s definitely semen,” I said, “I don’t ejaculate yogurt.”
What rhymes with orange?
No it doesn’t.