Why did the old lady fall in the well.

Because she didn’t see that well.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

How do you make a net?

Sew a bunch of holes together.

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

I bought the worlds worst thesaurus last week. Not only is it terrible, but it is terrible.